Super Bowl Memos

On the eve of Super Bowl XLIII tomorrow evening in Tampa between the Steelers and Cardinals, I thought I would take a brief moment to compose brief memos to those that sometimes get forgotten and sometimes get ridiculed despite being the 2nd best team in the league that season, the losing teams.  So, without further preamble:

I to the Kansas City Chiefs: Relax, the coach on the opposite sideline would soon have the trophy named for him.  You didn’t have much of a chance.

II to the Oakland Raiders: Relax, you were playing above-said coach in his last game with the Packers.  You didn’t have a chance either.

III to the Baltimore Colts: Oops!  No one except Broadway Joe saw that one coming.  Better luck in 2 years.

IV to the Minnesota Vikings: I recommend you get used to this losing the Super Bowl thing.

V to the Dallas Cowboys: Congratulations!  You managed to lose what is almost universally thought of as the worst played game in SB history.  But take heart as better days are ahead.

VI to the Miami Dolphis: Don’t worry; this was your last loss for awhile.

VII to the Washington Redskins: When your best play of the day is the other team’s kicker botching a pass after a botched field goal, you are probably not going to succeed.  Still, not a bad season for a team whose alias was “The Over the Hill Gang”

VIII to the Minnesota Vikings: Used to losing this game yet?

IX to the Minnesota Vikings: 17 yards rushing won’t get it done.  The only score the Steelers got in the 1st half was a safety and yet you were losing at halftime.

X to the Dallas Cowboys: Hard to stop Lynn Swann, isn’t it?

XI to the Minnesota Vikings: Must be used to losing this game, as you couldn’t even get in old man Willie’s way to the end zone.

XII to the Denver Broncos: Consider this a precursor to the early part of Elway’s career.

XIII to the Dallas Cowboys: Are you sure you wanted to bring Jackie Smith in for the last season of his career?

XIV to the Los Angeles Rams: Nice try.  Might’ve actually won if Ferragamo hadn’t thrown that one ball to Jack Lambert.

XV to the Philadelphia Eagles: Someone tell Jaworski that Harvey Martin plays for the Raiders and not the Eagles before he throws 3 balls to him.

XVI to the Cincinnati Bengals: Maybe you should not have let the 49ers make a goalline stand against you.

XVII to the Miami Dolphins: Maybe you should not have let John Riggins bust a 4th and inches play for a 41 yard touchdown.

XVIII to the Washington Redskins: Maybe you should not have let Marcus Allen double back in his own backfield and then run forward 83 yards.

XIX to the Miami Dolphis: Don’t worry Dan Marino, there will be other tries.  Oh, oops.

XX to the New England Patriots: In the words of Admiral Stockdale, why were you here?

XXI to the Denver Broncos: Nice drive to get there.

XXII to the Denver Broncos: Giving up 35 points in the 2nd quarter won’t get it done.

XXIII to the Cincinnati Bengals: Don’t forget Taylor in the back of the end zone.

XXIV to the Denver Broncos: Giving up 55 points in one game makes it hard to win.

XXV to the Buffalo Bills: Don’t just blame Scott Norwood.  You let the Giants possess the ball for 40 minutes of this game and it was 47 yards out.

XXVI to the Buffalo Bills: Better get used to this now.

XXVII to the Buffalo Bills: ibid

XXVIII to the Buffalo Bills: ibid

XXIX to the San Diego Charger: I don’t think anyone was stopping that 49ers team.  But, ow!

XXX to the Pittsburgh Steelers: Perhaps O’Donnell shouldn’t have thrown the interceptions

XXXI to the New England Patriots: Perhaps you should’ve tackled Desmond Howard.

XXXII to the Green Bay Packers: Sometimes the other team is just destined, and this one’s for John.

XXXIII to the Atlanta Falcons: When one of your team leaders, an NFL Man of the Year, is arrested the night before the game for prostitution, that’s bad.

XXXIV to the Tennessee Titans: Perhaps Dyson should’ve run a deeper slant  route.

XXXV to the New York Giants: When your only score is a kickoff return, and you promptly give the other team a kickoff return score on the ensuing play, that is not good.

XXXVI to the St. Louis Rams: Who can argue with Patriots 4 months after 9/11?

XXXVII to the Oakland Raiders: Hard to win when the other team’s coach used to be your coach and he knows you better than you know you.

XXXVIII to the Carolina Panthers: They might throw the ball to Mike Vrabel in the end zone.

XXXIX to the Philadelphia Eagles: Better work on that hurry up drill.

XL to the Seattle Seahawks: Randle El might throw the ball to Hines Ward in the end zone.

XLI to the Chicago Bears: Its hard to win a title with Rex Grossman leading the way.

XLII to the New England Patriots: Undefeated regular season is remarkable, but you forgot to account for David Tyree using his head in the big moment.

Enjoy Super Bowl XLIII and HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!

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